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Free-taker is Ruining My Life PDF Print E-mail
Written by The Knowledgeable Noel Corporation   
Tuesday, 08 January 2008

Dear Noel,

I’ve moved into a house with three lads. One’s a free-taker.

He never stops talking about trajectory, loft, prevailing winds, climate change, the far post, global warming, polar ice-caps, and allowing for the breeze. At night, he commentates to himself, imitating Darragh Moloney and shouting “he’s got it, round the corner, beautifully-dispatched.”

It’s wearing me down. My question is: is it possible to get Chronic Fatigue Syndrome from over-exposure to a free-taker?

- Tomas (20)


Noel replies – Any kind of human interaction with free-takers is to be discouraged.

If only I’d been tougher with young Noreen who had her head turned at Easy Street night club in Nenagh by a lad who took frees for Eire Og. Turned out to be a right sharp-shooter, alright.

In your vulnerable state, stay away from annual reports by county secretaries, teak-tough corner-backs, anyone who idolizes Roy Keane, people who win table quizzes, Munster rugby fans, and groundsmen. They will really mess up your head.
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