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Dear Noel,
We’ve a talented half-forward. He’s full of pace, brave, a good fielder, kicks off either foot, a great man to train.
Problem is he’s clueless. He solos around in circles, before running into stonewalls, sometimes literally.
When he gets the ball, our own crowd shout ‘close the gate, close the gate.’ He hasn’t scored in four years and our stats man says he has record turnovers.
Short of blinkers, we’ve tried everything. It’s getting him down too. He’s 24. He has his own pottery business.
What do you suggest?
- Denis, selector, Beara Peninsula
Noel replies – First off, I’d be very blunt with him. Tell him he has to show more vision look up when he gets the ball. Tell it to him like it is.
If that doesn’t work, I recommend Concentrated Meditation, Denis. Lie him down in a quiet place the day of a match. Tell him to close his eyes and breathe deeply repeatedly.
In a soft, soothing voice, read him this script:
“You’re on the ball. Opposition nervous. You can do damage. You hear nothing. Nothing exists beyond the four white lines. Breathe deeply. See the opposition goalposts.
“Look at those goalposts. The Sacred Place. Breathe very deeply now. There’s no crowd, no opposition, no local scribe, no county selectors, nothing but you and the gifts the universe has given you. You’ve choice, possibility, and dreams.
“Don’t solo. Don’t hop. Don’t feint, shimmy, or dummy. Don’t think. Just kick that ball powerfully towards the goal. Don’t follow up the kick. Don’t call for a return pass. Don’t force the issue.
“Breathe deeply; be at one with the world and everything will unfold just as you wish. Watch the next break.”
Talk him up out of the trance slowly then, Denis. He might react funny the first time or two, but trust the process. Do it as near the throw-in as you can, maybe even during the warm-up. A top-up at half-time would be no harm either.
Get him to practice Concentrated Meditation at home, too, or when he’s driving, or at Mass.
Might be no harm either to get the FAS workers to look at the alignment of walls, perimeter fencing, dressing rooms, floodlighting pylons, hay bobs, ladders, and sundry other fixtures and fittings. Just to be on the safe side.
I wish you the best of luck with him. Noel’s the quintessential team player. Access him on
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Tactical Innovation 
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