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Sep 08th
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The Tactical Benefits of a Championship Haircut PDF Print E-mail
Written by The Knowledgeable Noel Corporation   
Wednesday, 09 January 2008
Championship HaircutDear Noel,
Thanks for your interest in my Championship Haircut last week. No, I don’t have a girlfriend. I’m a bit shy around girls, so if my Championship Haircut broke down some barriers for me, it would be great entirely. I kissed a Camogie player from Wexford at Oxegen alright, but I must have taken down her number wrong.
You mention my Championship Haircut being used as a tactic for our team. Is that possible? I’m a socks-down man too.

- Clive (17)
Noel replies – In days gone by, I might have recommended a moustache. But you’re probably too young for it. Unless you have strong growth, the tash can be very wispy, and an unfinished look can give the other team a major psychological boost.
Look at the number of players with bum-fluff moustaches on the losing teams in provincial minor finals down the years.
The old ‘bowl’ style Championship Haircut was very popular in the 1930s, ‘40s, ‘50s, ‘60s, ‘70s, ‘80s, and, indeed, well into the ‘90s. With changing fashions, I recommend for you a lightly-tinted mullet. It’s a great winter Championship Haircut that won’t be beaten this time of the year.
Match the tint with the secondary colour in your team’s kit to set it off nicely.
If your team wears hooped jerseys, go for long sideburns. They will give a ‘lift’ to your face, and with that look, I’m certain you’ll meet a nice girl who will appreciate you for who you are.
The Championship Haircut has often been used as a tactic, of course.
Try this move. As play is coming towards you, quickly toss your mullet to a more scraggy look. In the heat of battle, your direct opponent will be momentarily distracted.
He will think a new man has been switched onto him. In that split second, embark upon a 50-yard solo-run into the opposition half and score a crucial goal. Ideally, do this just before half-time.
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Last Updated ( Monday, 14 April 2008 )
 
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