Dear Noel,
I’m on the county panel for the last five years. I haven’t nailed down a starting position yet, but I am generally of an optimistic disposition.

Last week, during one-on-one meetings with the entire panel, the manager told me I was a good, reliable, hard-working member of the squad. I was very encouraged, but the more I thought about it, I became very annoyed.

Is he trying to tell me something? I play centre half-forward for my club. I’m a librarian. Maybe I obsess too much. Am I mad?

- Donnchadh (22), address withheld

 Noel replies – Mad, Donnchadh? You’re absolutely livid, and rightly so. Centre-forwards aspire to a lot more than to be described in such disparaging terms.

Ask the manager to withdraw those remarks. If he refuses, I’d seek legal advice. Careers come and go, and managers too, but that kind of slur could follow a man around forever.

Meanwhile, grow sideburns. Let down the socks. Throw your jersey at the corner-forward when he balloons wide instead of feeding you.

Stay out late. Change jobs*. Crash the car. Neglect personal hygiene.
Court statuesque Latvian and Lithuanian women living in your town. Where possible, prevail upon them to join you on the forty-yard line (Scoring Goal end) of your local pitch for some nocturnal entanglements. Leak the story of your conquests to the local papers.

Most of all, believe in yourself.
* Do this first.

Noel knows the score. Reach him on This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it ; www.knowledgeablenoel.com; Skype (knowledgeable.noel); and Facebook (Knowledgeable Noel.) Keep it in the club.

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