Dear Noel,

At Congress this weekend, I’m kick-starting my five-year plan to become chairman of the county board.
Any fashion, or related, tips for me?

      - POC (name and address withheld at request of correspondent.)

 Noel replies – Nancy and I ruminated on your question at length the other night, while watching Laochra Gael with the sound turned down. Here’s a quick checklist:
      1. Brown suits are out of fashion. So, wear one.
      2. Absolutely no white socks. And if it gets very warm in Sligo, and you feel like going out around Rosses Point for a walk, don’t wear a       pair of runners under the suit. The wrong person sees you, and you’ve lost the votes of an entire division.
      3. Open-necked shirts, medallion nestling in your chest hair, light-coloured trousers with pleats – all no-go areas. Worked for Don       Johnson and Brendan Lynskey. But did either of them ever chair a Grounds Sub-Committee in their own clubs, never mind the county       board?
      4. If you must wear a polo neck, stay in your room.
      5. Absolutely no moustache.
      6. Make sure you have your wife with you*. She’ll find Sligo good for the shopping. Nancy likes to sit in on Congress. She made a very       valuable contribution at the Sliabh Russell Congress during a debate about regulations for pre-match parades. In the foyer, have her       read Ireland’s Own or maybe, at a push, Image magazine, not some Mills & Boon novel full of bodice-heaving and bosom-ripping, or       is it the other way around?
* I’m presuming you have a wife. If not, build the acquisition of one into the five-year plan, even if it takes ten years.

Noel’s a friend of the ordinary man and woman. Reach him on This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it ; www.knowledgeablenoel.com; Skype (knowledgeable.noel); and Facebook (Knowledgeable Noel.) Or call in any evening the car’s outside.



 

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Arthur MacRuairi said:

	Good advice there, Noel. I was county chairman for 37 years but my term was cut short by a rebellion in the east.
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April 29, 2008
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