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Written by Knowledgeable Noel
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Wednesday, 16 July 2008 |
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 Dear Noel,
We’ve a very promising young corner-forward in our club. He’s a brilliant man to show for the ball, particularly a 70-30 one. And while some of the lads criticise him because he is inclined to go for his own score, he is so accurate it’s hard to blame him. This morning, I met him coming out of the newsagents. He was up in arms. "Look, Maitias," he said to me, "they got it wrong again this week. It says here I got 0-7, and 5f in brackets. I only got four frees. The other three were real ones. This is detrimental to my career. Freedom of the press is over-rated, Maitias." Anyway, I only tell you that story to let you know what the kind of guy he is: utterly determined, single-minded, wired to the moon, a born winner, every inch the modern player. My problem, though, is that the team go swimming two nights a week, and I fear there’s a danger his dyed blond hair might turn green from the chlorine? What can we do to prevent this because if anything happened to his hair, it would really have the capacity to ruin our team? - Maitias, Assistant Irish Language Officer, un-named club, North East Galway |
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Last Updated ( Wednesday, 16 July 2008 )
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Written by Knowledgeable Noel
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Wednesday, 30 April 2008 |
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 Dear Noel,
I’m on the county panel for the last five years. I haven’t nailed down a starting position yet, but I am generally of an optimistic disposition.
Last week, during one-on-one meetings with the entire panel, the manager told me I was a good, reliable, hard-working member of the squad. I was very encouraged, but the more I thought about it, I became very annoyed. Is he trying to tell me something? I play centre half-forward for my club. I’m a librarian. Maybe I obsess too much. Am I mad? - Donnchadh (22), address withheld |
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Last Updated ( Wednesday, 30 April 2008 )
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Written by Knowledgeable Noel
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Monday, 14 April 2008 |
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Dear Noel, At Congress this weekend, I’m kick-starting my five-year plan to become chairman of the county board.
Any fashion, or related, tips for me? - POC (name and address withheld at request of correspondent.)
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Last Updated ( Monday, 14 April 2008 )
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Written by Knowledgeable Noel
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Monday, 31 March 2008 |
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 Dear Noel,
On our minor team, we’re all getting our numbers shaved into our heads, and we’ve agreed everyone should have an intimidating nickname.
Those of us without a nickname have been given a week to come up with one.
I’d like to go for Killer, but my girlfriend says she will break it off with me if I do. She calls me Fluffy, but no-one knows that.
One of the subs has already taken Viper. I like Pyscho, or Serpent. What about Sledge? I’m strong.
My best mate thinks I should go for The Man A Steel From Knockaneel, because Knockaneel is my home townland.
What do you think, Noel? You always know the lie of the land.
Sean (17), North Cork
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Last Updated ( Tuesday, 29 April 2008 )
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Written by Knowledgeable Noel
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Tuesday, 18 March 2008 |
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Dear Noel, I’ve put in some solid performances at centre-back for my school team, and have been called in for minor trials. What should I wear? - Adrian (17), address with editor. |
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Style and Fashion
