Dear Noel,

The manager hasn’t brought me on in the last five games. I’m planning my annual walk-out from the squad. All eyes are on me now. I’ve got to get this right.

Last year, I left halfway through the second-half of the last league game before the championship. I did a handbrake turn in the car-park. It was in the middle of a very dry period, and I left dust and gravel behind me that took half an hour to clear. The referee almost had to abandon the match.

Any novel suggestions for how I’d do it this year, Noel? I’m on the road for a building supplies company. I play in the half-forward line, when I’m let.

     - Cian, Co. Clare.

 Noel replies – Were you playing at the time in that game last year, Cian? The best time for a walk-out is when you’ve just been taken off. No door should remain on its hinges. Tell the club chairman to “get your act together before that fellow drags us back down to junior.”

Bring a bag of balls with you and let them come back the house begging you for them. Go odd.
Make sure to be the first man at training next year, of course.

Noel has no truck with the slow, patient build-up. Hit him with the long ball on This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it ; www.knowledgeablenoel.com; Skype (knowledgeable.noel); and Facebook (Knowledgeable Noel.)

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