Dear Noel,

I got a lifetime ban two weeks ago for a full-frontal assault on a referee. I pleaded I was going for the ball at the time, but still they threw the book at me.

Can you tell me, Noel, if the DRA are meeting this coming week? I have to be back for the second round of the championship next Saturday evening, as my brother is captain.

- Riobaird, name and address withheld to avoid further invasions of a decent man’s privacy.

Noel replies: If they’re not, they should be. Keep training, don’t change your routine at all. Give an interview to the papers outlining how your life has been ruined.

Accept the apology from the referee.

Let me know how Saturday goes. What kind of a team have you got this year?

Noel never ignores the elephant in the room, especially when it’s himself. Email him on This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it ; visit www.knowledgeablenoel.com; Skype (knowledgeable.noel); and Facebook (Knowledgeable Noel.)

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