Dear Noel,
I was a centre half-forward all my life, with all the glamour that implies. My ten year-old came home from school today and told me he wants to be a full-back. Is there anything I can do?

He’s Aries, headstrong. My wife says I should be more tolerant of minorities. I drive a taxi.

- Jimmy, Lower Limerick.

 Noel replies – Sorry to hear the bad news, Jimmy. You never know what’s around the corner. You never expect it to come to your own door.

He might grow out of it. A local priest will help with an exorcism. Bring him to Croke Park museum and show him Brian Lohan’s red helmet.

If that doesn’t work, show him photos of the last 25 All-Star full-backs.
Stay positive. Breathe in for seven, out for eleven. Keep mentioning eleven. Has he mentioned – how do I put this – goalkeeping yet?

Noel plays the ball, not the man. Reach him on This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it ; www.knowledgeablenoel.com; Skype (knowledgeable.noel); and Facebook (Knowledgeable Noel.)

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