Dear Noel,

I’ve gone through The Cycle of Life i.e. I played Under-21 at 12, Junior B at 13, Junior at 14, Senior at 15, junior at 33, and now I’m back playing Junior B again – and playing well, too, if I do say so myself.

I’ve lost the vital half-yard of speed in a three-yard tussle, but, as the man said, I don’t start from A.

Last weekend, I played centre forward. The centre-back was around the same stamp as myself. We both played a cautious, energy-preserving game. We stalked each other from the word go. It was intriguing stuff.

I’d drop the shoulder as if I were going to make a run, and then stop. He’d call for a short hand-pass back from the midfielder, but then turn his arse to it. At one stage, a stand-off developed where he wrapped his two arms around me to stop me making a burst.

This impasse lasted eight minutes.

Someone roared in advising the other players to “treat the pair of them as a roundabout”, but you will get philistines everywhere. Others chanted Sumo-Sumo-Sumo.

Anyway, I diverge. We were both taken off with ten minutes to go – to give a run to lads who train. As we sat there on the sideline, hyperventilating in unison, I asked him who their good corner-forward was.

“That’s my son,” he replied, “me second lad.”
Should I retire, Noel?

     - Maurice, Co. Limerick (39)

 Noel replies – Absolutely, Maurice, immediately. The performance you describe above will be your legacy to the game.
Too many centre-forwards believe the position is all about huffing and puffing. You’ve it off to a fine art, and it is clear the centre-back was deeply afraid of what damage you could inflict on his team.

Nothing for it now but the symbolic passing of the torch i.e. a simple ceremony in the field one evening to bequeath the blue knee-support to the next member of your own family coming along to fight the good fight. A few words, three cheers, and then shuffle off into the sidings. Literally.

Noel wasn’t the most talented, but he was the most committed. Commit yourself to improving your game by emailing him on This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it ; visit www.knowledgeablenoel.com; Skype (knowledgeable.noel); and Facebook (Knowledgeable Noel.)

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