Dear Noel,
I’m a self-employed electrician. I’ve got a few runs with the county team in the last few weeks.

Should my girlfriend sit on the middle seat, or in the passenger seat, on the way to training? There’s only the two of us in the van as no-one else from my club is anywhere near the squad. Where would you put her, Noel?

I changed recently to a grey Ford Transit 260 SWB 2.2 with a low roof. Her name is Sandy. My girlfriend’s called Chloe.

    - Mairtin Jaic (23), address with editor.

 Noel replies – Can you get the loan of a car at all? I knew great men who never made it with the county because they insisted on pulling into training, generally late, in a van, firing up a ball of dust and smoke. It conveys the wrong image.

But, presuming you have to bring the van, and equally presuming you can’t leave herself at home, alas, I suggest that you put her in the passenger seat, Mairtin Jaic.

You will look far too keen on her if you stick her in the middle seat, and the county selectors will question your commitment to the game. Unless she’s a well-set young woman, she could easily fall over on top of you on a right-hand corner, causing you to drive into the ditch, perhaps suffering some serious ligament or tissue damage, which won’t help your county chances either.

If she digs in the heels, put her in the back along with the face-testers. If she is still inclined to be stout about it, she’ll have to go, because, chalk it down, one like that will cause you serious bother if you make it onto the championship panel.

Lose the furry dice, too, Mairtin Jaic.

Knowledgeable Noel has no agenda other than to help the long-neglected ordinary club person. His website www.knowledgeablenoel.com is a repository of key club information. Email him on This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it

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