Dear Noel,
I’d love to be a Gaelic games journalist when I finish college. I grew up in Newfoundland but we came home when I was 15 so my father could look after the home place.

Noel, I notice whenever a Gaelic games reporter writes about Kerry, they always use at least one Irish word or phrase. I haven’t got a lot of Irish, but I’m trying my best to get up to speed. I really feel I have the carraigeens for the writing game, Noel. If I don’t make it, the madra dubh will descend, gan dabht.

Noel, do the NUJ insist on the use of Irish in all Kerry articles? Am I criochnaithe? Any way a cabog from outside Labrador City could hit the big-time?

     - MacDara (29), West Wicklow.

 Noel replies – Great to hear from you MacDara. Your next move will be crucial. Here’s my five-point plan that is a sure-fire route to success:
1. Declare yourself as a rugby reporter immediately.
2. Spend five years sending home intros from Paris and Rome sprinkled with the usual phrases – Allez Les Bleus, Arrivederci, C’est magnifique, plus ca change, that kind of thing.
3. Once you’ve conquered that, graft on a whole other language – ask to be allowed cover the Leinster Schools Cup, and do three years in that arena.
4. Ease yourself back into the GAA, and there won’t be a fear laidir in the country who’ll stand in your way.
5. Settle into a handy retirement hosting Up for the Match.

Noel carries out trial by media every week. Email him on This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it ; visit www.knowledgeablenoel.com; Skype (knowledgeable.noel); and Facebook (Knowledgeable Noel.)

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