Mairtin Jaic, address with editor – "Sorry to hear Chloe left you after last week’s advice. Girlfriends will come and go, Mairtin Jaic, but a place on the county panel – now that’s something special. Ridiculous name anyway, Chloe."

Christy, Mid-Clare – “I know, Christy, it’s a tough one alright for a club chairman. I suppose the lesson to be learned here is that the next time you propose a vote of sympathy to the family of a local man who was involved on the periphery of the club before his untimely death, make sure you have enough of your own people primed to back you up. I wouldn’t resign though. I’ve seen chairmen come back from worse.”

James, East Mayo – “Can’t say I heard of this particular problem before, James, but if you think the bright, camp colours of the sideline flags are distracting you as you make what you call ‘one of my trademark solo-runs up the wing’, then I’d suggest you bring the matter up with the club executive. I agree, tell them to keep their heart rate monitors, SAQ training, deep tanks, and all that nonsense – this is a fundamental issue for you as a player, and, ergo, for the club. And if they won’t listen to an U11 player like yourself, they might as well forget about it. Young people are the future.”

Liam, Lucan - “No, a case of mistaken identity, alas, Liam. I couldn’t make it to the Club Forum thing, though I was invited to speak. We had our dinner-dance here in the club and I got the Hall of Fame award. My third time getting it, actually.