Stephen, East Galway – “Loughnane should go, Stephen? Don’t be mad. Ger and I go back a long way. If he actually won a league final, he’d resign himself. I know more than I can say about this. Trust me, it’s all going according to plan there.”

Louise, Longford – “Very simple, Louise. Eye on the ball at all times. I wouldn’t favour shouting where you intend the ball to go before you kick it. At this early stage in your career, I’d recommend an old trick I’ve taught to a lot of players: kick it first, do a quick calculation on where it’s headed, and then shout out the name of the player you’re aiming for.”

MacDara, Cill Dara – “Parnell Park punch-up, MacDara? Disgraceful scenes? Don’t make me laugh. Nancy says she often saw tougher football in the kickaround back in the day – and that was just the ladies football tournament ran for the local festival every year.”

Noel knows the score. Reach him on This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it ; www.knowledgeablenoel.com; Skype (knowledgeable.noel); and Facebook (Knowledgeable Noel.) Keep it in the club.

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