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Written by Knowledgeable Noel
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Monday, 02 June 2008 |
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Dear Noel, The manager hasn’t brought me on in the last five games. I’m planning my annual walk-out from the squad. All eyes are on me now. I’ve got to get this right. Last year, I left halfway through the second-half of the last league game before the championship. I did a handbrake turn in the car-park. It was in the middle of a very dry period, and I left dust and gravel behind me that took half an hour to clear. The referee almost had to abandon the match. Any novel suggestions for how I’d do it this year, Noel? I’m on the road for a building supplies company. I play in the half-forward line, when I’m let. - Cian, Co. Clare.
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Written by Knowledgeable Noel
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Monday, 26 May 2008 |
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Dear Noel,
I was christened Thomas, but now that I’m getting serious about my hurling career, I’d looking around for something punchier. Should I go for Tommie or Tommy?
- Thomas P. McCarthy (17), North Cork
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Written by Knowledgeable Noel
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Monday, 07 April 2008 |
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Dear Noel,
I’m keen to get an edge. I was thinking about refusing to shake hands with my direct opponent before games. What do you think?
- Sean (22), West Laois.
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Last Updated ( Saturday, 06 September 2008 )
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Written by Knowledgeable Noel
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Monday, 10 March 2008 |
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Dear Noel,
You advised me recently about how to avoid contacting Chronic Fatigue Syndrome from living with a free-taker. Not only did I get CFS, but another lad in the house, a wing-forward who tracks back, has picked up Irritable Bowel Syndrome and Diverticulosis. He’s some mess.
The free-taker spends every evening practising his style in the sitting room. He’s worse than those golf bores swinging imaginary clubs. After ‘kicking’, he stares into the mid-distance, and then bends over as if to raise the white flag. It’s an appalling scene.
What can we do, Noel? I’ve started popping herbal stuff, and I’m afraid I’ll get Hypervitaminosis. I’m a goalkeeper.
- Tomas (21), UL
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Last Updated ( Saturday, 06 September 2008 )
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Written by Knowledgeable Noel
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Sunday, 03 February 2008 |
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Dear Noel, I am a former free-taker. I’ve been asked to do free-taking coaching with a neighbouring club, but don’t know what to charge. I was thinking about an innovative pricing structure based on what their free-taker scores in league and championship matches. Basically, my idea is that I would get a €10 meal voucher for every 14-yard free he taps over. For anything he nails between there and 30 yards out, they give me a leg of organic lamb. From there to the 50, I’m entitled to a half-fill of petrol. A straight €50 for all 50s he sends over, and an overnight in a Lynch Hotel for anything he gets out beyond that. If the goalie points a kick-out, I’d be suggesting a ride-on lawnmower. I’d appreciate your views on this proposed structure, Noel. I’d like to get this right from the off. - Deadly Don, Dundalk. |
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Last Updated ( Monday, 14 April 2008 )
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Mind Your Own Corner
